News

Considering the abundance of grapevines in my life, I would not be surprised if you already knew that Andrew and I have decided to abandon all forms of birth control and give God the reigns in the babymaking area of our lives. In short, we want a baby. We both feel ready to do this, and I have a peace knowing that I am no longer in control of this aspect of my life. We made this decision the last week of July, and although it wasn't the deciding factor, I'm sure the fact that we both got to hold a one week old baby for the first time had some sway on our decision.

Needless to say, it was a month of excitement and anticipation. I, of course, read everything I could on fertility and such and scoped out the perfect days for babymaking. We went out and bought our first pregnancy tests ever, after having consulted our Baby Expert, Momma D. (who assured us that store brands were just as reliable as the expensive variety).

Since I had only been off birth control for one month, my expectation of actually being pregnant were very low. But I still hopped around with excitement when, on the day that I expected my period, I took my first pregnancy test. I shouted through the bathroom door for Andrew to start the clock, and we waited. One minute...one and a half minutes...two minutes passed by. I leapt up and ran back to the bathroom to check the test (I couldn't just stand there and stare at it--it was too nerve-racking). A vertical blue line had appeared in the "control" box, which meant that the test was accurate, and a horizontal blue line had appeared in the box beside it. I let out a sigh of disappointment. I put the test down and told Andrew the news, who lovingly stated that we can try again the next month. Of course I had to check it one last time, just in case. But the test remained resolutely negative.

A few days later, as irony would have it, I was watching Friends and it just so happened to be the episode where Rachel finds out she is pregnant. I cried a little, cursing Rachel for being pregnant while I was not.

And then I got over it. The bright side: one more whole month of not stressing about having a baby and being a mom. Maybe this month will be the month. Until it's time to find out, I'm going to enjoy my husband as much as I possibly can (and the fact that I can drink alcohol and caffeine).